I have a knack for making people fall in love with me over the internet

I’ve reached an impasse in my life; caught between the will to make myself and the will to find myself and the will to shed my self and walk into the welcoming, numbing arms of modern society. The sour stench of stagnation drips out of every pore. I choke and suffocate and decay, but sometimes it’s covered by the sickly sweet scent of empty successes. The effect is worsened by the constant tug-of-war between attention and isolation, affection and indifference, motivation and malaise. I am in dire need of a retreat to find myself and clear away the stains and fog that shroud my mind and keep me in a daze for days on end. 

I only ever get the urge to clean my room at night, which is a real shame because the process of cleaning makes me realize how much shit I have, and then I get overcome with despondence because I am so far lost in the depths of material desires